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	<title>Comments on: [audio] Honest and Open Thoughts about Love, Competition, and 6 Months of Personal Growth</title>
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	<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/</link>
	<description>I would say my greatest strength is probably data entry.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 23 Aug 2010 10:34:52 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>By: Andy Traub</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-2897</link>
		<dc:creator>Andy Traub</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jul 2010 13:17:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-2897</guid>
		<description>Loved that you started out your post with dropping your location b/c that&#039;s my home state!  

Love the audio feedback (even if I graduated from IU).  That balance is work but it&#039;s good work.  

I just turned my audio on my blog into a podcast actually (Profiting From Permission).  Wanted to repurpose some stuff and it seemed to make sense.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Loved that you started out your post with dropping your location b/c that&#8217;s my home state!  </p>
<p>Love the audio feedback (even if I graduated from IU).  That balance is work but it&#8217;s good work.  </p>
<p>I just turned my audio on my blog into a podcast actually (Profiting From Permission).  Wanted to repurpose some stuff and it seemed to make sense.</p>
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		<title>By: elton08</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1588</link>
		<dc:creator>elton08</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 04:42:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1588</guid>
		<description>Great audio! The more you share, the more I learn. Thanks for being bold enough to follow your dreams. It inspires me to do the same in these changing times.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Great audio! The more you share, the more I learn. Thanks for being bold enough to follow your dreams. It inspires me to do the same in these changing times.</p>
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		<title>By: Megan</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1586</link>
		<dc:creator>Megan</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 15:01:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1586</guid>
		<description>Interesting thoughts, brother of mine. I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there - to be open and honest, asking for feedback (however positive or negative). Scary! ha! I like the personal connection of the spoken word... Nice choice to do an audio blog for this topic. It&#039;s awesome to hear the things you&#039;ve learned over the past few months.

Something I&#039;ve been smacked in the face with recently is my own rollercoaster belief in God, which in turn affects my happiness. In the past I would look for what God was doing and gauge my outlook from there, ie. huge miracles (Landon and I surviving the traumatic delivery) = God is active, loving, present... boring daily life = God is distant, uninterested, barely caring... suffering of friends (failed adoption) = God is harsh, allows our hopes to be crushed... 

HOWEVER, the more I learn about who God is, what the Bible says about all of his mind-blowing characteristics (I&#039;ve specifically been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) the more I am growing in my understanding of who God is and thus a more correct understanding of who I am. I understand now that my circumstances-based view of God was all wrong.

So the foundation of my life is not so rollercoaster anymore. Instead - because I better know who God is - I can remain steady no matter the circumstances, no matter how others treat me, no matter how much I mess up my life or do good with my life. And the craziest thing is, the more I submit to God and obey Him, the more joyful I become?! I guess it&#039;s nice to quit being &#039;my own god&#039; and rest in how big He is; it takes the pressure off me, and all I have to worry about is doing the best I can with the standards He&#039;s given, ask for forgiveness when I fail, and let Him help me become as much like Him as possible.

Just something to think about. My Bible study put it this way: &quot;Every Christian falls into one of two categories: Believing God for what he does or believing God for who He is.&quot; What category you fall into will permeate every aspect of your life on this earth.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Interesting thoughts, brother of mine. I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there &#8211; to be open and honest, asking for feedback (however positive or negative). Scary! ha! I like the personal connection of the spoken word&#8230; Nice choice to do an audio blog for this topic. It&#8217;s awesome to hear the things you&#8217;ve learned over the past few months.</p>
<p>Something I&#8217;ve been smacked in the face with recently is my own rollercoaster belief in God, which in turn affects my happiness. In the past I would look for what God was doing and gauge my outlook from there, ie. huge miracles (Landon and I surviving the traumatic delivery) = God is active, loving, present&#8230; boring daily life = God is distant, uninterested, barely caring&#8230; suffering of friends (failed adoption) = God is harsh, allows our hopes to be crushed&#8230; </p>
<p>HOWEVER, the more I learn about who God is, what the Bible says about all of his mind-blowing characteristics (I&#8217;ve specifically been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) the more I am growing in my understanding of who God is and thus a more correct understanding of who I am. I understand now that my circumstances-based view of God was all wrong.</p>
<p>So the foundation of my life is not so rollercoaster anymore. Instead &#8211; because I better know who God is &#8211; I can remain steady no matter the circumstances, no matter how others treat me, no matter how much I mess up my life or do good with my life. And the craziest thing is, the more I submit to God and obey Him, the more joyful I become?! I guess it&#8217;s nice to quit being &#8216;my own god&#8217; and rest in how big He is; it takes the pressure off me, and all I have to worry about is doing the best I can with the standards He&#8217;s given, ask for forgiveness when I fail, and let Him help me become as much like Him as possible.</p>
<p>Just something to think about. My Bible study put it this way: &#8220;Every Christian falls into one of two categories: Believing God for what he does or believing God for who He is.&#8221; What category you fall into will permeate every aspect of your life on this earth.</p>
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		<title>By: John</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1584</link>
		<dc:creator>John</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 04:52:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1584</guid>
		<description>Great post Drew! I really like the audio/video approach to blogging. Yes, it usually takes more time than just skimming a post, but I feel that there&#039;s more of a connection with the viewer/listener. And it helps the blogger work through their ideas because they are actually talking it out and &quot;hearing&quot; what they&#039;re saying.

I&#039;ve considered it myself, but I tend to go on tangents and would end up having hour long posts. You did a great job keeping it short and sweet. 

Thank you for being so honest with your post. It takes a lot of courage to share those thoughts and feelings, especially with strangers.

The topic of happiness has been on my mind lately as well. Just like you, I took a little time off to backpack Europe after graduation and then jumped headfirst into starting a couple of businesses. However, it&#039;s been a bit harder for me to disassociate happiness and circumstance. 

With so much invested in my business, a lot of my happiness comes from making progress and coming closer to my ideal outcome. Consciously, I know this approach is destructive, especially in the long run, but unconsciously it&#039;s a deeply engrained belief. It wasn&#039;t always this way though, I think once I took on the pressure of running a successful business, my source of happiness shifted to one of accomplishment rather than one of existence.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Great post Drew! I really like the audio/video approach to blogging. Yes, it usually takes more time than just skimming a post, but I feel that there&#8217;s more of a connection with the viewer/listener. And it helps the blogger work through their ideas because they are actually talking it out and &#8220;hearing&#8221; what they&#8217;re saying.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve considered it myself, but I tend to go on tangents and would end up having hour long posts. You did a great job keeping it short and sweet. </p>
<p>Thank you for being so honest with your post. It takes a lot of courage to share those thoughts and feelings, especially with strangers.</p>
<p>The topic of happiness has been on my mind lately as well. Just like you, I took a little time off to backpack Europe after graduation and then jumped headfirst into starting a couple of businesses. However, it&#8217;s been a bit harder for me to disassociate happiness and circumstance. </p>
<p>With so much invested in my business, a lot of my happiness comes from making progress and coming closer to my ideal outcome. Consciously, I know this approach is destructive, especially in the long run, but unconsciously it&#8217;s a deeply engrained belief. It wasn&#8217;t always this way though, I think once I took on the pressure of running a successful business, my source of happiness shifted to one of accomplishment rather than one of existence.</p>
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		<title>By: Drew</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1583</link>
		<dc:creator>Drew</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:18:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1583</guid>
		<description>@Rick - I love the second paragraph of your comment.  Very well said!  There&#039;s something sacred about using language to process  thoughts into a straight line... a string of words. If no one read this blog I think I&#039;d still publish this blog for the sake of my own sanity!

@Matt - Thanks for understanding why it took me so long to arrive at my final points.  Thankfully the whole thing stayed &lt;i&gt;fairly&lt;/i&gt; structured (considering I was just flowing off the top of my head!). Thanks for hanging with me on my first impromptu audio post.

@Resa - Great points with &quot;you can’t make someone else happy if you can’t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy.&quot;  I agree 100%.  Such a basic concept but it took a lot of pain for me to learn this one (freshman year of college. big nasty break up. ugh.)  Years later I&#039;m thankful for that lesson though.  (love the yoda reference!) 

I am so grateful that you took the time to listen to this post and comment.  To be real, the encouragement from these three comments alone will inspire me for DAYS.  I hope you feel a sense of &quot;shared success&quot; because every project I work on this week will be laced with some enthusiasm that you&#039;ve given me tonight. :-)</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>@Rick &#8211; I love the second paragraph of your comment.  Very well said!  There&#8217;s something sacred about using language to process  thoughts into a straight line&#8230; a string of words. If no one read this blog I think I&#8217;d still publish this blog for the sake of my own sanity!</p>
<p>@Matt &#8211; Thanks for understanding why it took me so long to arrive at my final points.  Thankfully the whole thing stayed <i>fairly</i> structured (considering I was just flowing off the top of my head!). Thanks for hanging with me on my first impromptu audio post.</p>
<p>@Resa &#8211; Great points with &#8220;you can’t make someone else happy if you can’t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy.&#8221;  I agree 100%.  Such a basic concept but it took a lot of pain for me to learn this one (freshman year of college. big nasty break up. ugh.)  Years later I&#8217;m thankful for that lesson though.  (love the yoda reference!) </p>
<p>I am so grateful that you took the time to listen to this post and comment.  To be real, the encouragement from these three comments alone will inspire me for DAYS.  I hope you feel a sense of &#8220;shared success&#8221; because every project I work on this week will be laced with some enthusiasm that you&#8217;ve given me tonight. <img src='http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':-)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>By: Resa</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1582</link>
		<dc:creator>Resa</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:39:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1582</guid>
		<description>Interesting. You really bring home the reverse of an idea that I had to learn to stand by after getting out of a really difficult relationship. While it&#039;s primarily addressed to relationships, it&#039;s still applicable in this direction. Essentially, you can&#039;t make someone else happy if you can&#039;t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy. 

Really, no one can make anyone do anything - we can incentivize, motivate, guide, but in the end the other party makes a choice to follow the direction an influencer sets.

But back to the point - after seeing numerous friends desperately seeking happiness from external places, it became clear that it doesn&#039;t work that way. I think happiness is a choice, and in that choice there&#039;s the option of doing or not. Yoda got it right - there is no try.

 So really, I think you&#039;ve taken the idea a step further by applying the happiness that comes from internal satisfaction outward and investing it externally. I say invest because spreading it perpetuates the capability of growth. I also think you&#039;re in an unstoppable position because you recognize that the external validation isn&#039;t the source of internal satisfaction. Of course it&#039;s a good feeling, but it&#039;s much more satisfying to live for yourself than to live for others.

Great post. :)

PS - Good call on the audio - honest and open is a perfect way to describe the thought-flow. Very nice!</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Interesting. You really bring home the reverse of an idea that I had to learn to stand by after getting out of a really difficult relationship. While it&#8217;s primarily addressed to relationships, it&#8217;s still applicable in this direction. Essentially, you can&#8217;t make someone else happy if you can&#8217;t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy. </p>
<p>Really, no one can make anyone do anything &#8211; we can incentivize, motivate, guide, but in the end the other party makes a choice to follow the direction an influencer sets.</p>
<p>But back to the point &#8211; after seeing numerous friends desperately seeking happiness from external places, it became clear that it doesn&#8217;t work that way. I think happiness is a choice, and in that choice there&#8217;s the option of doing or not. Yoda got it right &#8211; there is no try.</p>
<p> So really, I think you&#8217;ve taken the idea a step further by applying the happiness that comes from internal satisfaction outward and investing it externally. I say invest because spreading it perpetuates the capability of growth. I also think you&#8217;re in an unstoppable position because you recognize that the external validation isn&#8217;t the source of internal satisfaction. Of course it&#8217;s a good feeling, but it&#8217;s much more satisfying to live for yourself than to live for others.</p>
<p>Great post. <img src='http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif' alt=':)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>PS &#8211; Good call on the audio &#8211; honest and open is a perfect way to describe the thought-flow. Very nice!</p>
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		<title>By: Matt Andersen</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1581</link>
		<dc:creator>Matt Andersen</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:14:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1581</guid>
		<description>Hey Drew,

I think I can relate with you when you feel like you have to take your time and go in depth with an explanation. Especially with something on a more personal outlook. I keep a journal myself, and I will often find myself writing pages and pages on the same subject without ever realizing that I have been writing that long. And regardless if anyone ever reads my journal or many people listen to your audio blog, for me, it&#039;s more a form of meditation that relaxes me and clears my head. then anything else. So I say continue on with your full and detailed explanations! Cheers buddy</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Drew,</p>
<p>I think I can relate with you when you feel like you have to take your time and go in depth with an explanation. Especially with something on a more personal outlook. I keep a journal myself, and I will often find myself writing pages and pages on the same subject without ever realizing that I have been writing that long. And regardless if anyone ever reads my journal or many people listen to your audio blog, for me, it&#8217;s more a form of meditation that relaxes me and clears my head. then anything else. So I say continue on with your full and detailed explanations! Cheers buddy</p>
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		<title>By: Rick Wolff</title>
		<link>http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/audio-honest-and-open-thoughts-about-love-competition-and-6-months-of-personal-growth/comment-page-1/#comment-1580</link>
		<dc:creator>Rick Wolff</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 01:58:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://drewskwarcan.com/blog/?p=389#comment-1580</guid>
		<description>Good for you! You&#039;ve detached your proclivity for happiness from how well (or not so well) you&#039;re doing in your life. Happiness is not a cause of what happens, though it sometimes causes good things to happen that might not otherwise.

I think I know why people put this into the most informal personal blogs: the part of their brain that &lt;i&gt;knows&lt;/i&gt; all this needs to remind other parts of their brain that are slow to catch on, and the most efficient method, more than neural connections, is out one&#039;s own mouth and into the ears. That&#039;s you in this podcast, and me in this comment.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Good for you! You&#8217;ve detached your proclivity for happiness from how well (or not so well) you&#8217;re doing in your life. Happiness is not a cause of what happens, though it sometimes causes good things to happen that might not otherwise.</p>
<p>I think I know why people put this into the most informal personal blogs: the part of their brain that <i>knows</i> all this needs to remind other parts of their brain that are slow to catch on, and the most efficient method, more than neural connections, is out one&#8217;s own mouth and into the ears. That&#8217;s you in this podcast, and me in this comment.</p>
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