It recently occurred to me that right now in my life I am happier than I’ve ever been. The question is, why?
You should click the purple button to play.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
[pro tip for the multi-tasking type - Let this play in the background by opening a new tab in your browser and listen while you do other things.]
PS – Since this is my first audio post, I’m very interested in your feedback. I know we’re all busy busy busy but if you have a moment to spare I value your thoughts. You should leave a comment below. Thank you!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Good for you! You’ve detached your proclivity for happiness from how well (or not so well) you’re doing in your life. Happiness is not a cause of what happens, though it sometimes causes good things to happen that might not otherwise.
I think I know why people put this into the most informal personal blogs: the part of their brain that knows all this needs to remind other parts of their brain that are slow to catch on, and the most efficient method, more than neural connections, is out one’s own mouth and into the ears. That’s you in this podcast, and me in this comment.
Hey Drew,
I think I can relate with you when you feel like you have to take your time and go in depth with an explanation. Especially with something on a more personal outlook. I keep a journal myself, and I will often find myself writing pages and pages on the same subject without ever realizing that I have been writing that long. And regardless if anyone ever reads my journal or many people listen to your audio blog, for me, it’s more a form of meditation that relaxes me and clears my head. then anything else. So I say continue on with your full and detailed explanations! Cheers buddy
Interesting. You really bring home the reverse of an idea that I had to learn to stand by after getting out of a really difficult relationship. While it’s primarily addressed to relationships, it’s still applicable in this direction. Essentially, you can’t make someone else happy if you can’t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy.
Really, no one can make anyone do anything – we can incentivize, motivate, guide, but in the end the other party makes a choice to follow the direction an influencer sets.
But back to the point – after seeing numerous friends desperately seeking happiness from external places, it became clear that it doesn’t work that way. I think happiness is a choice, and in that choice there’s the option of doing or not. Yoda got it right – there is no try.
So really, I think you’ve taken the idea a step further by applying the happiness that comes from internal satisfaction outward and investing it externally. I say invest because spreading it perpetuates the capability of growth. I also think you’re in an unstoppable position because you recognize that the external validation isn’t the source of internal satisfaction. Of course it’s a good feeling, but it’s much more satisfying to live for yourself than to live for others.
Great post.
PS – Good call on the audio – honest and open is a perfect way to describe the thought-flow. Very nice!
@Rick – I love the second paragraph of your comment. Very well said! There’s something sacred about using language to process thoughts into a straight line… a string of words. If no one read this blog I think I’d still publish this blog for the sake of my own sanity!
@Matt – Thanks for understanding why it took me so long to arrive at my final points. Thankfully the whole thing stayed fairly structured (considering I was just flowing off the top of my head!). Thanks for hanging with me on my first impromptu audio post.
@Resa – Great points with “you can’t make someone else happy if you can’t be happy with yourself. Similarly, no one else can make you happy.” I agree 100%. Such a basic concept but it took a lot of pain for me to learn this one (freshman year of college. big nasty break up. ugh.) Years later I’m thankful for that lesson though. (love the yoda reference!)
I am so grateful that you took the time to listen to this post and comment. To be real, the encouragement from these three comments alone will inspire me for DAYS. I hope you feel a sense of “shared success” because every project I work on this week will be laced with some enthusiasm that you’ve given me tonight.
Great post Drew! I really like the audio/video approach to blogging. Yes, it usually takes more time than just skimming a post, but I feel that there’s more of a connection with the viewer/listener. And it helps the blogger work through their ideas because they are actually talking it out and “hearing” what they’re saying.
I’ve considered it myself, but I tend to go on tangents and would end up having hour long posts. You did a great job keeping it short and sweet.
Thank you for being so honest with your post. It takes a lot of courage to share those thoughts and feelings, especially with strangers.
The topic of happiness has been on my mind lately as well. Just like you, I took a little time off to backpack Europe after graduation and then jumped headfirst into starting a couple of businesses. However, it’s been a bit harder for me to disassociate happiness and circumstance.
With so much invested in my business, a lot of my happiness comes from making progress and coming closer to my ideal outcome. Consciously, I know this approach is destructive, especially in the long run, but unconsciously it’s a deeply engrained belief. It wasn’t always this way though, I think once I took on the pressure of running a successful business, my source of happiness shifted to one of accomplishment rather than one of existence.
Interesting thoughts, brother of mine. I appreciate your willingness to put yourself out there – to be open and honest, asking for feedback (however positive or negative). Scary! ha! I like the personal connection of the spoken word… Nice choice to do an audio blog for this topic. It’s awesome to hear the things you’ve learned over the past few months.
Something I’ve been smacked in the face with recently is my own rollercoaster belief in God, which in turn affects my happiness. In the past I would look for what God was doing and gauge my outlook from there, ie. huge miracles (Landon and I surviving the traumatic delivery) = God is active, loving, present… boring daily life = God is distant, uninterested, barely caring… suffering of friends (failed adoption) = God is harsh, allows our hopes to be crushed…
HOWEVER, the more I learn about who God is, what the Bible says about all of his mind-blowing characteristics (I’ve specifically been doing a study on the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control) the more I am growing in my understanding of who God is and thus a more correct understanding of who I am. I understand now that my circumstances-based view of God was all wrong.
So the foundation of my life is not so rollercoaster anymore. Instead – because I better know who God is – I can remain steady no matter the circumstances, no matter how others treat me, no matter how much I mess up my life or do good with my life. And the craziest thing is, the more I submit to God and obey Him, the more joyful I become?! I guess it’s nice to quit being ‘my own god’ and rest in how big He is; it takes the pressure off me, and all I have to worry about is doing the best I can with the standards He’s given, ask for forgiveness when I fail, and let Him help me become as much like Him as possible.
Just something to think about. My Bible study put it this way: “Every Christian falls into one of two categories: Believing God for what he does or believing God for who He is.” What category you fall into will permeate every aspect of your life on this earth.
Great audio! The more you share, the more I learn. Thanks for being bold enough to follow your dreams. It inspires me to do the same in these changing times.